From October 10 to November 2, 2025, Conscious Connections Nepal (CCN), with support from the Conscious Connections Foundation (CCF) and in partnership with Giving Face, organized a 10-day makeup training in Kalaiya Municipality, Bara District for transgender women and LGBTQI+ individuals, including those living with HIV. Please read our first post about the training here. Interviews were conducted during the training, and five stories were developed to document stories of resilience, discrimination, and hope. This is story #2, the story of Selina Chaudhary.
Between Identity and Responsibility
My Story, by Selina Chaudhary
My name is Selina Chaudhary. I’m 29 years old, from Dhangadhi — though my life now is in Kalaiya. I live between two worlds: one where I am my true self, and another where I’m a husband and father, playing a role I never fully chose.
I realized I was different when I was a child, but I couldn’t name what that difference was. I grew up quiet, careful, and afraid of disappointing my parents. Later, I fell in love with a girl. We married. I told myself this was what life was supposed to be —family, stability, normalcy.
Four days before the wedding, I tried to explain to her that I was “different.” I didn’t yet have the word “transgender,” but I tried. She was confused, but she said she wouldn’t leave me. That promise tied us together.
Photo Credit: Rohan Thapa, photographer
Today, we have a beautiful four-year-old child. My wife and child live in Dhangadhi. I live here in Kalaiya, dancing and doing makeup to earn money for them. The money I send home feeds them. But the truth I hide from them feeds my guilt.
I am also living with an STD. I once tested my wife’s blood — it was normal. But I worry every day that I might have put her at risk. I want to tell her, but the words never come. She sometimes asks if I’m “different.” I deny it, smiling, but inside I ache.
If I had known about the transgender community earlier, I would have chosen to live openly as myself — maybe even started hormone therapy. Instead, I learned late, after years of silence.
Still, I try to stay hopeful. I dream of saving enough to build a small house for my family. I tell myself that once I’ve done that, maybe I can finally live as me.
My story is not about shame — it’s about searching. Searching for self, for peace, and for the courage to live the truth that’s always been waiting inside me.